nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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