Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
