Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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