there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
