would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
