She announced her abortion via fbk
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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