I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
