guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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