i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My feet surprised me
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
