I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
