oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
