I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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