Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
