i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
