I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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