I'm sorry my penis didn't work
from now on my penis is your penis
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you win again, gameday.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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