Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
