Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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