he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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