Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
