he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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