I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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