I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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