I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
