I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Randomize
