no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
