I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
