Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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