I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
