just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
