i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize