that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
