Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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