Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
