Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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