I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
