and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
