I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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