It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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