Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
