That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
