i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
