I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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