Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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