I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize