the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
