I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize