I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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