Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
