hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
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I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
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Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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