So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
