Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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