How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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