he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
