a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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