I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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