She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
