You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
