If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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