Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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