he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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