yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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