She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize