Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
