I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Sext me about skeletons
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize