i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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