my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
and she was petting her beer can
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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